Thursday, August 24, 2006

International Adoption rant

Most people who know me well, know that I've talked on and off for years about adopting a child. I've read many books about International Adoption and looked at hundreds of websites over the years. I'd adopt a child tomorrow if it wasn't for the cost involved. Steve and I talked about adopting a child from an orphanage years ago when we had just two children. We even talked to the adoption department at social services. The lady in charge was very negative about it. She wanted us to adopt a child from NI and it was obvious that she was going to be as unhelpful as possible with regards to helping us get a child from overseas. Yes its true that there are many children in this country that do need good homes. But that is not what is in my heart. The children in this country, whilst they do want homes, are fed and looked after. Not to mention that the adoption process in this country can be very different from how some people imagine. Adopting a child here could mean that the child has ties with family, visits to parents or family members. I understand that this is for the wellbeing of the child, but it's not something I want to cope with or have any desire to carry out. What does spark passion in my soul is the possibility of making room in our home and hearts for a child that lives in poverty, in hell really. To take a child that spends 20 hours a day in a cot, that has no medical help, that is undernourished, unloved and forgotten, that may have been through terrible times in its few years of life, and to bring them to a home with love, affection and care. It seems impossible for us to do. The cost to do this in the UK is phenomenal. It would take years of fundraising and begging to raise the money. It seems immoral to me that the cost of helping a child is so high. In an ideal world these children would be helped free of charge into loving family homes.

So everytime this idea comes back into my head I dwell on it for a while, think about the possibilities, look at websites with photos of waiting children. Then I decide that it's not possible, that its just a dream, some silly notion that I've got stuck in my head. And I try to push the idea away and get on with life. I've prayed about it a lot. I've prayed that if this is what God wants me to do with my life, that he makes it obvious to me. And then I again put it out of my mind. But every time I manage to forget about it, something brings the whole idea flooding back to me. Lol. I received an email this week from a friend who found a website that helps families (including UK families) to raise money for adopting a child with downs syndrome. This lady 'felt' that she should email me the info. I spent a few hours reading the info, looking at photos of the gorgeous children, waiting for their forever families. I emailed the owner of the site who emailed me back immediately (usually no one ever emails back, once they realise you are outside of the US). She sent me a private link with details of children in the Ukraine that need adopting. It includes photos, which they are not allowed to publish publicly. In the Ukraine, children with downs syndrome that live in orphanages are put into mental institutions at the age of 4, if they haven't found a family to adopt them by that time. These institutions are not pleasant places, and the children are forgotten about until the day they die, often strapped into beds so that they can not roam around. Isn't that heart breaking? Some of the children's ads have large red messages on them begging for a family asap as they are nearing the age of going into the mental institution. I was in tears reading about them and seeing their little faces. What a horrible wicked world we live in. And it makes me so cross that there are charitable people out there that would take these children and give them homes, but the process is made so long, arduous and expensive that many can not or do not try.

If you can find it in your heart to visit the Reece's Rainbow website, take a look at the photos of children waiting for adoption. The ones with no photos are the ones from the Ukraine that I mentioned. If you can find it in your heart to make a small donation to any of these children then that would be great. Each child has a grant fund to help them pay for adoption. Some children have nothing in their fund, some have $500. If everyone who cared paid $10 into their funds they would be adopted much quicker. I guess I shall leave my rant there for now.

Edit - just to let you know that they do take paypal so its easy for anyone who feels moved, to make a donation, whether in the US or not ;)


educatingmummy said...

This is also something that has been on our hearts as a family.
I don't know if you have come across it but in the Above Rubies magazine there are often testomonies of families who adopt from overseas. They have a website of the same name. All the best with that.

Hazel said...

Yes I do read the Above Rubies magazine and have seen some of their adoption articles. Its a great read.

LemonMeringue said...

Hazel, I am so sorry it took me so long to come and look at your blog! I have a bad tendency not to look back at past posts on my blog to check for comments! (I hope you're better at it than me)

I really wish you all the best if you do decide to try for an international adoption.

We get the question ALL THE TIME about "why aren't we adopting from America?" I just don't get it. A child is a child is a child. Thankfully, a child in need of a home in my home country has a chance whether I adopt it or not, a child from a country overseas (we are adopting from Ethiopia) DOES NOT have the same chances as a child from the U.S. But tell that to the idiots who ask this question, arrrgh!

Anyway, best of luck to you, keep in touch! I'll be adding YOUR blog to MY blog link.

Hazel said...

Hi there,
That's ok. Im still reading your blog. I posted a comment on your other blog too about the way your little boys lines his cars up. I'll put a link to your blog on mine too as soon as I get a chance.
Thanks for popping by .